It’s Just a Matter of When

I started writing this post the very first week of March. Then I didn’t touch it til May 25th. After May 25th, I disappeared again until June 3rd. I visited it on June 22nd. And I finished this on August 9th. And that’s why I take ten years to write a blog post haha!

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One thing that I love about myself is that I have been a pretty avid journal writer since about third grade. Of course my consistency has waned and weaned over the years, and the way I journal has changed as time has passed.

I used to write in a physical journal, and I tried really hard to write every single day. Then in 2019, I switched over to a digital journal on my phone, and I wrote by hand considerably less. I still have the journal I began in 2017, and it’s nearly full. It’s been five years, and I still have not finished it. Oftentimes the newer entries jump months (some have jumped nearly a year).

Lately, my form of journaling has been done on Gospel Library. Kind of weird, I know, but that’s where I’ve journaled!

The wonderful thing about this is that I try to always bring my thoughts back to spiritual matters and to having faith. I didn’t used to do that in my journals, it was simply free write.

On November 6, 2024, I started a new challenge. It was actually something I found from a friend’s missionary email. She invited us to do the challenge, and I took her up on it. Here it is, “The Challenge: Everyday, open to a random page and read a random verse. Mark the verse. Then, write next to it how it applies to your life … and then apply it!”

It was an exciting endeavor, and I thoroughly enjoyed the adventure. Now, over two hundred days later, I continue to pick a verse and make a note.

I always used blue highlight, and as I’ve been reading The Book of Mormon again this year, I often run into my entries. It elevates the quality of my study and makes it more meaningful.

I’m grateful I began the challenge at the time that I did because it was there to support me during the months of limbo and worry. I hung to the scriptures, to the comforting words, and to the knowledge that Heavenly Father loves me and is aware of me.

In this blog post, I have decided to share several of these journal entries. Some of them are pretty raw, but I tried to stay hope-filled in each one.

If you listen to my podcast, you will recognize 3-4 of them. I was actually planning on writing and publishing this post as all this was happening but didn’t end up doing so.

I’ve looked through my notes extensively and have decided to start with Day Twenty-Three.

Day Twenty-Three

[Nov 30, 2024 at 6:05 AM]

Today was truly randomized. I asked Siri to pick a random number for each part. I counted how many books were in The Book of Mormon and then I put that into a random number generator. Then I told it to pick a random number 1-7 (how many chapters are in Jacob) and then 1-18. Here we are on verse 10! And it’s a good one!

I love how this verse starts out, “seek not to counsel the Lord.” How often do we do that? We go to Him in prayer and tell Him exactly what we want and how we want it. Heck, I am guilty of that at times. Just these last few months I had expectations of what this year off from school was going to look like, and I was disappointed and frustrated when it didn’t go the way I wanted. Sometimes I still feel the pressure of not having a full-time job or saving up money. 

If that’s not trying to counsel the Lord, I’m not sure what is. Letting God prevail in my life means trusting that He knows best and not getting frustrated when that doesn’t align with my plans.

Then of course “take counsel from his hand” is important. I want to trust Him, to let Him prevail, to pray for guidance, to seek His will and not my own, and to follow promptings. I have see the blessings that come from taking His counsel. At the end of the day, He will always know better than I do. The scripture says so itself: “he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.”

So not only does He have all power and can do whatever He desires, He also is everything that is good. His works are wise, just, and merciful. Is this not the perfect combination? His works are full of love. 

This scripture is applicable to me because I want to continue working on trusting Him and seeking His will rather than trying to oppose mine onto Him. 

In two specific ways I am going to work on:
-My part-time job, and not worrying that I’m not saving up enough money
-getting into grad school; I have officially applied to two schools (SUU and Baylor) and am waiting to hear back. Being in limbo is scary, but I know that He knows

[Nov 30, 2024 at 6:19 AM]

10 Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.

Jacob 4:10

Day Twenty-Eight

[Dec 5, 2024 at 11:09 AM]

As I was in the Celestial room this morning, I randomly flipped to this verse. I decided to make it the verse for the day and do this challenge on it. 

I wasn’t sure what the context was for the story, so I went back and read from the beginning of chapter ten. 

Luckily for me, Com is a good guy. He follows the Lord and walks up rightly. Thank goodness because it is going to be easier to apply this to my life haha.

Also lucky for all of his people, he was a good king and reigned for 42 years. Anywayyyyyy…

I want to focus on the phase “for the space of many years.” This is related to waiting on the Lord and is evidence of Com’s waiting. If Com was righteous and followed the ways of the Lord, then that means he had a righteous desire to help the people under Amgid. I’m sure Com prayed and asked for help many times.

But the Lord didn’t win the war for Com, he had to fight Amgid “for the space of many years.” This happens to us sometimes. It’s happened to me. We have a righteous desire and hope Heavenly Father will Grant it, but that’s not always how it works. Sometimes we have to patiently wait for it, acting in faith and continuing to believe even if answers don’t come right away.

Com eventually won the war and became king. This applies to me because it is evidence that after the waiting period, we are blessed. We must continue to act in faith, never doubting, while we wait for our miracle.

For me personally, I’m waiting to get into graduate school. Believe me, there’s a lot of waiting. A lot! But I hope that during this waiting period, I am showing Heavenly Father what I am made of and what I can accomplish even if everything doesn’t go my way.

I am grateful that I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and will not let me waste away. He wants me to succeed! It’s very comforting!

[Dec 5, 2024 at 11:17 AM]

32 And it came to pass that Com drew away the half of the kingdom. And he reigned over the half of the kingdom forty and two years; and he went to battle against the king, Amgid, and they fought for the space of many years, during which time Com gained power over Amgid, and obtained power over the remainder of the kingdom.

Ether 10:32

Day Forty-Five

[Dec 23, 2024 at 8:19 PM]

Well I come to you with a very broken heart. I just found out that I didn’t receive an interview for SUU’s Psy.D. program, and I feel absolutely devastated. It’s one of those situations where tears come easy and sobs occasionally jump out. 

I called Grandma (I’m in AZ right now) and talked to her about it. It just feels so devastating and sad. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know what the plan is.

I don’t get it. This felt right. I knew it felt right. I guess I’m deeply confused.

I know that Jesus Christ understands, and He understands a lot more than just this. I’m grateful to have the knowledge that I am not alone and that there is a plan for me. I don’t know what the plan is (obviously aghhh), but I know everything will be okay. 

When it will be … and what that will entail … only Heaven knows. 

25 My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever.

Moroni 9:25

Day Forty-Six

[Dec 24, 2024 at 6:43 PM]

These three phrases are applicable to me and my life right now:
“Let us go up again”
“Let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord”
“He is mightier than all the earth”

I just applied to graduate school for my second time, and I didn’t get in. I didn’t even get an interview this time! So the application process part of my life isn’t over. It’s probably just begun … but I will “go up again.”

I wish I knew what was next because I am extremely stressed. What now? What am I supposed to do? All of the programs that I want to get into I should have already applied to! The deadlines have come and gone!

I wish I hadn’t been so stinking stubborn and had applied to more places. 

I don’t know what I would do without the Gospel of Jesus Christ and without the knowledge that I have a Heavenly Father who knows me, is aware of me, and has a plan for me. I need to find out what that is!

So I will “be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord” because that’s all I have right now. My covenants and the commandments. I have no plan other than that. 

It’s a good reminder that Heavenly Father is the most powerful being, and He wants what is best for me. He is mightier than all the earth. Than all the essays out there. Than all the graduate programs. Than all the stress and anxiety possible. He is above it all. I know He can help me. I know this is just a chapter in my story and isn’t the end.

Just like Nephi, I will go and do and will be faithful.

[Dec 24, 2024 at 6:58 PM]

1 And it came to pass that I spake unto my brethren, saying: Let us go up again unto Jerusalem, and let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth, then why not mightier than Laban and his fifty, yea, or even than his tens of thousands?

1 Nephi 4:1

Day Forty-Seven

[Dec 25, 2024 at 12:27 AM]

Merry Christmas!

You won’t be surprised to hear that I’m still thinking about graduate school and the predicament I’m in. I did quite a lot of research into schools today, and I started the application for two programs. There’s one at BYU for a masters in Marriage Family and Human Development, and there’s a Master’s Degree from UVU in Clinical Mental Health Counseling (CMHC). As stated, I am going to apply to both.

UVU’s closes January 3rd, and BYU’s closes January 10th. Luckily my CV is done, so I just need to write the different letters of intent for both of them.

Anyway, let’s talk about how this verse is applicable to me and my current situation. 

I know that “the hand of my God” is “good upon me” and that He is aware of me. I know that He wants me to be happy and He has a great plan and purpose for me. I’m sure as I sobbed on Monday night, He was thinking, “oh my sweet Kyra, I promise you this is for the best. Good things are to come! I’m trying to lead you there!”

Another phrase that stands out to me is, “Let us rise up and build.” I need to rise up and move forward, believing, hoping, trusting, and exercising faith. I also want to build my resume, build my expertise, gain more experience, and become a better person.

Lastly, “they strengthened their hands for this good work” is applicable to me because this continual rejection is teaching me to be humble, to depend on the Lord, to trust in Him, and to have hope and faith that everything will be okay. That everything will be wonderful. I know one day that this will simply be a chapter in my story. It will be an important chapter, but a chapter nonetheless. The story is just beginning, and I know there is so much goodness in store. So much more excitement ahead! 

Please be with me as I work on these applications and give me hope that Thee is guiding me and leading me. I know I’m not alone, and I’m grateful for that!

[Dec 25, 2024 at 12:37 AM]

18 Then I told them of the hand of my God which was good upon me; as also the king’s words that he had spoken unto me. And they said, Let us rise up and build. So they strengthened their hands for this good work.

Nehemiah 2:18

Day Fifty-Five

[Jan 3, 2025 at 10:02 PM]

I’m going to write directly how this relates to my life right now. 

As you know, I applied to SUU’s PsyD program, and I haven’t gotten in twice now. This has been discouraging to say the least, but currently I’m feeling drawn to perhaps move up north. I applied to a graduate program at UVU and am going to apply (not due til next Friday) to a graduate program at BYU. 

Part of me wants to prepare myself not to hear back, to just assume that I’ll have to wait another year to apply to a million places. (I’m not making the same mistake of not applying to several places three times in a row.) The other part of me wants to have hope. Hope and faith. I want to have faith that everything is as Heavenly Father wants it to be, because I know He has a better plan in store me for than the one I can come up with myself. I want to have faith that this is where I am currently being led because the thought of another year where I’m doing nothing makes me very stressed … and sick.

I want to have faith that big things are coming soon. So, based on this scripture, I need to have hope first. A sliver of hope and the faith will come.

I think more of me believes that I’ll get in to either BYU or UVU than the part of me that believes I’ll wait another year. So that’s good, the faith is outweighing the fear!

The funny thing is that if I do get into one of those programs, the challenge has just begun. Moving hundreds of miles away, meeting new people, establishing myself once again … that’s not going to be easy.

But I think it’s what I want. It doesn’t feel right to stay here in Cedar, whistling away while life passes me by. If moving up north is what Heavenly Father wants me to do, I will go. But also, now that’s what I want because it feels right.

So pretty pretty please Father, help this all work out. Help this be part of your plan (haha whoops look at me counseling the Lord). If it’s not though, I know that You know best. I want to let Thee prevail in my life. Help me align my will with Thine’s. 

[Jan 3, 2025 at 10:13 PM]

40 And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning hope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?

Moroni 7:40

Day Fifty-Eight

[Jan 6, 2025 at 3:12 AM]

I’m awake. I’m not at work, so I have no reason to be awake, but my sleep schedule is at a funky time of its life, so here we are.

This scripture is not random for today; I chose it. I’m blessed to have a memory where I can remember scripture references. I hope to only add to my knowledge as the years pass.

First, to journal a little bit.

There is currently a heaviness on my chest, and I know what it is. I’ve felt it for many years before this, and I know I’ll probably feel it on and off for the rest of my life. Because I’ve been such an avid journal writer and have completed years of therapy, I have become quite adept at evaluating my emotions and putting a name to them. 

This particular feeling? Its name is anxiety. 

I wish I could tell you why I’m specifically anxious this time, but that remains a little bit of a mystery. I have an idea, and I’m sure it makes up a big part of this ominous and scary feeling weighing on my heart.

I’m in limbo. I have no idea what’s coming next in my life, and I feel the pressure to succeed quite strongly. This pressure to succeed doesn’t stem from outside sources, it is an individual battle as I strive to grow and become a better version of myself. 

Will I get in at BYU or UVU? I desperately hope so, because I don’t know what I’m going to do if I don’t. Truly, and I’m not kidding here, I feel sick to my stomach thinking about lying in wait … again. I don’t know if I can do it, because not actively working towards continuing my education is killing me! I miss being productive and being intellectually stimulated. I miss the social aspect of school, and I miss having a clear purpose. I even miss assignments and homework. I know that’s crazy, but it’s true!

The funny thing to me is that if I do get in to one of these programs, my life is going to drastically change. I’ll have to move, and it won’t be easy and it won’t be cheap. I’ll have to get rid of stuff, and I’ll have to figure out where I’ll store my water jugs. I know it probably seems stupid and insignificant to you, but it’s a real worry for me.

I fixed my podcasting problem because I bought a new microphone and won’t have to bring the whole set-up with me … the two microphones attached to a Subway table in my garage.

These are problems that are not even relevant right now, yet they weigh heavily on my mind and heart.

I know the biggest worry is waiting for the emails … the ones that say I’ve earned an interview … or been rejected. Again.

SO. Now that I’ve journaled, I can talk about why I chose this verse today. It’s pretty simple really, I recognize that I need peace in my life. 

Because of my temple covenants and the choices I’ve made to be close to the spirit, I have received countless messages of comfort from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ via the Holy Ghost:
“I love you Kyra. It will be okay.” 
“Yes I do” in response to me thinking, “God has a plan for me”
“I love you Kyra. I’ve got you.”
“I’m aware of you Kyra, don’t worry”
“I’m serious” ^ (hehe isn’t that cute?)
“I’m proud of you Kyra”
“I’ve got you Kyra, don’t worry.”
“I love you Kyra. It will be okay.” 
“It will be okay Kyra. Trust Me.”
“I love you Kyra. I’m so proud of you”
While working on application materials, “I’m proud of you Kyra. You’ve got this.”
“I love you Kyra. I’ve got you.”
“I’m proud of you Kyra”
“I love you Kyra. I’ve got you.”

I’m not writing those from memory, though I remember them. (They came from my “Feeling the Spirit” journals.)

I don’t know what the level of anxiety would be in my life without these comforting messages. I’m sure it would be astronomical, much higher than it is now.

Unfortunately, the anxiety is still high enough to wake me up in the middle of the night. It is still enough to give me a headache. It is still enough to make my stomach churn with concern. (Hehe that rhymed!)

I know one purpose of this anxiety, or at least one way I can consecrate these feelings, is to remember to stay humble. To recognize that I am dependent on God, and that’s okay. In fact, it’s good! Being meek and humble is part of God’s will, and I truly do want to “let God prevail” in my life. 

As I spend more time in this place of waiting, I want to seek peace from Jesus Christ. Because of my temple covenants, and because I choose to wear my temple garments, I have greater access to the Savior’s mercy, power, strength, and protection. I’m not just saying that because it sounds nice. I know it is true because I learned that I receive those specific things in a prayer meeting before my shift as an ordinance worker.

I can turn to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and I will. Heavenly Father told me Himself that He’s got me. That He’s proud of me. That He trusts me (I didn’t add that above but I heard that too). He’s told me that everything will be okay. He’s told me not to worry. 

I met with the bishop yesterday (it’s after midnight haha), and he told me that because I strive to live the Gospel the way I do, and because of my living close to the spirit, everything will work out the way it’s supposed to, and that God will not lead me astray. 

I don’t know what that means or entails specifically … but I guess that’s the point of trusting in Him.

I will continue to study the scriptures and words of the daily prophets, serve in the temple, follow promptings, and be the best disciple of Christ that I can be.

I know that Heavenly Father will not leave me alone, and He will not leave me comfortless. I look forward to receiving more messages from Heaven.

I will look for the peace that only the Savior offers.

I know God doesn’t lie. He means it when He says “it will be okay” and that He has a plan for me.

He asks me to trust Him, and I will.

[Jan 6, 2025 at 3:58 AM]

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

Day Fifty-Nine

Whoa this one feels like it’s calling me out haha! 

I do feel like I am doing fairly well in trusting in the Lord and in Heavenly Father rather than freaking out, but I’m human so of course there are still lingering feelings of distress.

But you know what? No matter what, it’s going to be okay. I think and I believe and I have faith that I will get into one of these programs up north. I’ve been led here, so why would Heavenly Father all the sudden hang me out to dry?

I don’t think He would.

This being said, like Meshach, Radshach, and Abendigo, I have enough faith that even if a miracle does not occur, I will still believe. It’s like having enough faith not to be healed. 

This is just a chapter in my story. 

[Jan 7, 2025 at 7:38 AM]

1 Behold, I say unto you, David, that you have feared man and have not relied on me for strength as you ought.

D&C 30:1

Day Sixty-Nine

[Jan 17, 2025 at 2:45 PM]

This scripture is comforting. No matter what, if I keep my covenants and keep the commandments, Heavenly Father will help me and bless me. He will figuratively lead me to the “promised land.”

I don’t know what is next in my life. In fact, I’m in a pretty big position of limbo. I know that places where I am unsure of what is next are opportunities for me to turn to Heavenly Father and trust in Him.

This scripture reinforces that everything will be okay!

[Jan 17, 2025 at 2:48 PM]

13 And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.

1 Nephi 17:13

Day Eighty-Five

[Feb 2, 2025 at 10:40 PM]

Tomorrow is my interview for UVU’s clinical mental health counseling master’s program. I’m excited but am also nervous! I asked Uncle Jason if he would give me a priesthood blessing, and he said yes.

One thing that he mentioned prior to starting is that not only should the program choose me, but I get to choose it. That felt very true to me. If it isn’t the right place, I hope I can feel that in my heart even though I don’t have many options.

To make this verse applicable to me, I’m going to substitute a word: “Therefore, if ye have desires to serve [others] ye are called to the work.” The fun thing about plugging in “others” in the spot where “God” is works according to Mosiah 2:17. As I am in the service of my fellow beings, I am only in the service of my God.

So as I embark on my journey tomorrow to interview at this program, I hope I am able to remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, even if this isn’t it. I have a desire to serve others; I have a desire to serve God. Therefore, according to this scripture, I will be called to do the work! This means that even if this particular program doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that something else won’t. He has me in His sights and is leading me where I need to go.

I just hope I get to find out where that is soon!

[Feb 2, 2025 at 10:46 PM]

3 Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work;

D&C 4:3

Day Eighty-Six

[Feb 3, 2025 at 7:16 AM]

My interview for UVU’s Clinical Mental Health Counseling Master’s Program is today. It starts at 10am.

Unfortunately, my mind clued in my body that this is a big deal, so my sleep was not very restful. I kind you not, I woke up at 3:10am, 4:08am, 5:08am, 5:32am, and 5:57am. I think I went back to sleep again, but I don’t remember what time I got up. 

This interview is a big deal. Right now, it’s my only shot. [I got the email that I had gotten an interview for BYU an hour after I wrote this haha!] If I don’t get in here, I don’t know what is next for me. I don’t know what Heavenly Father wants me to do. 

But I have faith. Not necessarily that I will get in, but that He has a plan for me. As Lacey would say, “this or something better.” That doesn’t mean the pressure isn’t on though! I need to do everything that I can to get in. If this is His will, I am responsible for giving it all I have!

Okay, now to the scripture. 

I love that first, before anything else, Emma is told that her sins are forgiven. I think we take for granted the knowledge that our sins are forgiven through the atonement of Jesus Christ. We take for granted the ability to repent and renew our covenants each week. But for Emma, being told that her sins were forgiven was probably a big deal!

Next, what a powerful compliment from the Lord, “thou art an elect lady.” As Brad Wilcox said (approximately), “it is one thing to be loved and an entirely different thing to be trusted.” I would imagine that Christ calling Emma an “elect lady” implies that He trusts her.

Finally, “whom I have called.” I, too, have been called. In fact, my patriarchal blessing says that I will be a “great leader in the church.” It is my responsibility to be worthy and to stay on the covenant path so I can become the person I need to become in order to be called a “great leader.”

I don’t know if a master’s degree in CMHC at UVU is the next step for me, but I guess we will find out. No matter what, I know that Heavenly Father loves me, trusts me, knows me, is aware of me, and wants what is best for me. That is most important.

[Feb 3, 2025 at 7:33 AM]

3 Behold, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou art an elect lady, whom I have called.

D&C 25:3

Day One Hundred & Four

[Feb 22, 2025 at 7:30 AM]

(By the way the footnote is linked to another scripture that is quite similar to this one if you want to check it out!)

This morning, as I was sweeping and mopping the shelter around 2:30am, I was listening to the recent speeches podcast from BYU. I actually had time to listen to 2.5 talks.

One of them mentioned President Nelson’s challenge to read the Kirkland Temple’s Dedicatory Prayer found in D&C 109, so I decided to come to this chapter and pick a verse to write on.

This verse stood out to me, specifically because at the end it has BYU’s vision/mission statement: “by study and … by faith.” 

Since this is my personal Gospel Library account, I’m going to get real with you. 

There was a client at shelter a couple months back that claimed to be a medium and sometimes clairvoyant. I know it sounds weird, but stick with me here, okay? Anyway, I told her I had applied to BYU and UVU, and she said, “ooh I think we are both feeling BYU. And I think that’s where you’re going to meet your future husband.”

Now listen. Before you start to freak out, I just want you to know that I am sharing this because it seems further proof that my gut feelings are right. I truly feel drawn to BYU, and it seems to be divine design that I even applied to the Marriage, Family, and Human Development Master’s Program. Because when I realized it was a researcher’s degree, I felt hesitant to continue my application as it wouldn’t lead to my becoming a therapist. 

And the HONEST truth is, I continued to apply because I had already started the application and sent out the request for letters of recommendation. So what was I supposed to do, email my professors and say, “yeah, nevermind”?! No way, I was not going to do that. 

So I pushed ahead and applied even though it initially felt weird to apply to a program that I didn’t think would even get me to where I want to go. But now, a couple months later, I genuinely found myself deciding that if I get an offer from BYU, I will be going there. As I walked campus before and after my interview, I could see myself there. I could see myself as a BYU student. I felt comfortable there … and felt at home.

I recognize that this entry is not going to age well if I do not get in. But I feel, deep in my heart, that somehow I will. 

So back to what that past client said. When she said that she was feeling BYU (and she mentioned that she noticed that I was too), it made me unbelievably excited. It felt real and it felt good. I bring her up not necessarily because I believe that she can see the future, but because she made me realize that I want to go to BYU.

It’s possible that the “signs” I find myself finding are merely coincidences (or more likely that it’s confirmation bias and I’m finding what I’m looking for), but I also believe that Heavenly Father is in the details of “coincidences,” and there is no such thing.

Once again, this is not going to age well if I do not get in.

People have asked me what my plan is if I do not get in at either school up north, and I tell them the truth, “I don’t know. I’ve decided not to worry about that yet.” Although I know it is good to be prepared, it somehow feels like I’m not truly trusting in Heavenly Father if I start preparing myself for a plan d. This is already plan c (it might be a plan even further down the alphabet honestly), so why prepare as though I don’t believe that this is right?

Back to the verse … “seek ye diligently.” Boom, what a phrase. 

“Teach one another words of wisdom.”
Boom! As a researcher, I can share the findings we discover with others.

“Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom.”
I know that BYU is going to guide me to literature that aligns with my faith.

“Seek learning even by study and also by faith”
Yep. Already spoke on this.

Anyway, I need to go. I’ve been writing for a long time, and I’m at work haha! Today was a good one!

[Feb 22, 2025 at 8:00 AM]

7 And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom, seek learning even by study and also by faith;

D&C 109:7

Day One Hundred & Seven

[Feb 25, 2025 at 8:31 PM]

Wow. Wow! You’ve been with me through it all, especially since December 23, 2024. Now it’s February 25, 2025, and I finally have good news. Finally!

I found out tonight, around 6:30pm, that I got into BYU’s Marriage Family & Human Development Master’s Program. I am beyond stoked and honored. My heart feels full with gratitude and appreciation and thanksgiving. I truly feel so blessed and SEEN. I know that this is God’s plan for me, and it’s such an epic story!

I picture myself, years from now, speaking to a crowd of people about the devastation I felt at not getting into SUU’s program. Both times. The sadness I felt when I received and read the email on January 24, 2024, and the sadness and devastation I felt when I realized (and had confirmed) that I didn’t get an invite to interview at SUU on December 23, 2024.

Now I can talk about the joyous news I got today.

The amazing and wonderful thing is that today I walked/hiked up a trail near Grandma’s house, and I listened to a devotional that Neal A. Maxwell gave back in January of 1996. It was titled “Brim With Joy.”

There were many aspects of the talk that I related to. I felt at peace by what he was teaching, and I continued to ponder my life and graduate school.

I had finished walking and headed back to my grandparents’ house. At this point, I sat out back with them, and we began talking about graduate school. I just finished telling my grandparents that I was prepared not to get in; I would just stick around and prepare to apply again. I then opened my email and saw an email from BYU Admissions. I clicked on it and was directed to a page where I had to login. Thank goodness my login information was saved in my phone because I couldn’t remember it. (I could have found the information in my notes on my phone but it being already saved was much faster.)

I could barely believe my eyes when I read the word, “congratulations.” I haven’t been able to read that word yet in terms of getting into graduate school, and my heart pounded in my chest, celebrating.

So today, as I do the challenge, when I randomly opened up to these verses, they felt so right.

I feel His grace. I feel at peace. “I thank my God” and talk about how grateful I am for His presence and guidance in my life. Boy am I blessed. Eternally and infinitely blessed!

Every good thing comes from Jesus Christ and because of His restored Gospel. 

Thank thee, Heavenly Father, for knowing what I needed. Thank thee for leading me the right way. And thank thee for trusting me and guiding me. I am so. So. So. Blessed.

[Feb 25, 2025 at 8:44 PM]

3 Grace to you, and peace, from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
4 I thank my God, making mention of thee always in my prayers,
5 Hearing of thy love and faith, which thou hast toward the Lord Jesus, and toward all saints;
6 That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.

Philemon 1:3-6

Day One Hundred & Eight

[Feb 26, 2025 at 8:20 PM]

I’ve received a miracle, and not just one miracle but a myriad of them over a space of time. The specific miracle I’m talking about is getting into a master’s program at BYU! All the other miracles were little nudges from Heaven to take a certain class or join a certain research project.

With these miracles, I need to make absolute certain that I follow the example set by the one leper who went back to thank Jesus. For the rest of my life, prayers of thanksgiving and gratitude need to be consistent and constant. Sincere and genuine, not routine and inauthentic. 

Because my heart feels so tender and grateful, I am sure I can show my genuine appreciation and gratitude through prayer without it being stale. 

 Extremely applicable verse tonight!

[Feb 26, 2025 at 8:27 PM]

15 And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,
16 And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan.

Luke 17:15

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Thank you for reading all my rambles. I invite you to thank Heavenly Father for all your blessings too. It changes everything!