Changing The Connotation

August 11, 2022 at 12:47am

So here’s the deal: “repent” has always been a word that made me feel insecure and frustrated.

Repent because I’m not good enough.

Repent because I did something wrong.

Repent because we are dependent on the Lord and aren’t worthy without Him.

Repent because that’s what everyone says to do.

In fact, I had a young women leader tell me one time to, “use the repentance process,” after accusing me of bullying and being mean to her daughter.

I was heartbroken.

Devastated.

Anguished.

Ashamed.

It wasn’t so much that I was told to repent. It was the thought that I hurt someone’s feelings.

She told me how disappointed she was in me for bullying her daughter, and then added that I should, “use the repentance process.” It absolutely broke my heart.

After that happened to me, my brain associated “repent” and “repentance” with negativity and sadness. Frustration and shame.

Confusion and irritation.

But God does not want us to feel ashamed or sad or confused, so I decided this summer to work on changing the connotation of “repentance” and “repent” in my mind.

Now September 5, 2022

I honestly didn’t think it would happen.

I hoped that it would, but it didn’t seem like something my mind would allow.

It’s a good thing God had other plans.

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Now September 11, 2022

My last week in Virginia was a very small session, so they sent home most of the counselors that were with us the first two weeks.

The great thing is that most of them came back a week later to be with us in Maryland.

As well as a myriad of counselors most of us didn’t know. (I knew a few of them from previous sessions, but there were many counselors that the majority of us didn’t know.)

Well they all flew in Saturday in different groups.

And before we even knew it, we had about 90 counselors at the University of Maryland.

Because of this, it only made sense to have our own church meeting the next day.

We got it all cleared to have a member of the bishopric to preside, and we held it in the institute building on campus. (BOY was it a long walk!!!)

The night before, our coordinator from the last three weeks of Virginia started calling people and assigning them things to do for church the next day.

I thought it was a little bit funny because he only asked Virginia people since they were people he knew; people he would feel comfortable asking to give a talk or teach Sunday school.

So when I got a call on Saturday night around 11pm (I was enjoying the reunion of my friends coming back that arrived around then), I immediately suspected that he was going to ask me to do something.

“You’re going to ask me to talk, aren’t you?” I said kind of teasingly.

He replied, “Well, actually, no.”

“Oh.”

“I want you to teach Sunday school, with a focus on ‘Love, Share, Invite.’”

We talked for a minute or so and hung up.

Well shoot.

How am I going to prepare a Sunday school lesson that is going to be interesting and engaging and helpful in a short amount of time?

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The next morning, I woke up and began preparing my lesson.

But as I began reading, I kept feeling prompted to focus on something different than “Love, Share, Invite.”

I felt prompted to talk about repentance.

And how to change its connotation in our minds.

So I began writing…

And I wrote the whole lesson in about 20 minutes.

It probably helped that I had been thinking about it since June 3rd.

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On June 3, 2022, I wrote this:
There are approximately 20 words under the word repentance in the index. More than half of them have positive connotations. That must mean that repentance is a good thing; a gift! I want to work on associating repentance with change and growth. With faith and redemption. With salvation and spiritual. I want my first feeling to be joy and gratitude when I hear the word repent or repentance.

Repentance also means forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself because you let go of the hate and anger and choose light instead. Therefore, one can conclude that repentance is a gift.

In the young women’s theme, it says, “I cherish the gift of repentance and seek to improve each day.”

Fun fact: the young women presidency worked months and months on the theme and when they finally felt it was ready, they took it to the apostles. When the apostles read it, a few of them cried! The big softies! 🥹

After they showed it to the apostles, the young women presidency brought it before the first presidency (the prophet and his two counselors.)

The prophet told them that he needed a few days to look over it, but he would contact them as soon as he decided.

They didn’t have to wait very long because that very afternoon, the young women presidency received a letter from the prophet.

The letter was very kind and said that he really liked it, but had a couple of suggestions, and to, “take it or leave it.”

The young women presidency laughed. This is the prophet we are talking about!

So they quickly added this line, “I cherish the gift of repentance and seek to improve each day.”

And it felt right.

One interesting thing is that oftentimes when you ask someone what their favorite part of the new young women’s theme is, they often say that they like that line.

And it almost wasn’t even in there!

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In the Topical Guide, under “Repent, Repentance” it says,
Repent, Repentance
See also Baptism; Change; Confess; Death, Spiritual; Excommunication; Faith; Forgive; Forsake; Gospel; Guilt; Mend; Mercy; Penitent; Redemption; Remission; Salvation; Unrepentant; Work [noun]; Work [verb]; TG Repent; BD Repentance

In a table, with the words that have positive connotations on the left and negative connotations on the right, it looks like this:

It is important to note that “excommunication” does NOT mean that God stops communicating or gives up on those who are excommunicated.

It means that their records are removed from the church, allowing them to come back with a fresh start.

So there’s the table of positive and negative connotations at first glance.

But if you think about some of the words that you originally put on the negative side, you realize that they can be mean something different, something good.

Then to add some scriptures as support:

3 Nephi 10:6

6 O ye house of Israel whom I have spared, how oft will I gather you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, if ye will repent and return unto me with full purpose of heart.

Repent = return unto me with full purpose of heart

1 Nephi 10:18

18 For he is the same yesterday, today, and forever; and the way is prepared for all men from the foundation of the world, if it so be that they repent and come unto him.

Repent = come unto Him

Mormon 7:5

5 Know ye that ye must come to the knowledge of your fathers, and repent of all your sins and iniquities, and believe in Jesus Christ, that he is the Son of God, and that he was slain by the Jews, and by the power of the Father he hath risen again, whereby he hath gained the victory over the grave; and also in him is the sting of death swallowed up.

Repent = believe in Jesus Christ

D&C 18:10-16

10 Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;
11 For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him.
12 And he hath risen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance.
13 And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!
14 Wherefore, you are called to cry repentance unto this people.
15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!
16 And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!

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You don’t have to read this next part if you don’t want to, but I’m going to add it here because I used it in my lesson and it’s SO GOOD!

We Can Do Better and Be Better—April 2019 by Russell M. Nelson

Paragraph 4-8
“The word for repentance in the Greek New Testament is metanoeo. The prefix meta- means “change.” The suffix -noeo is related to Greek words that mean “mind,” “knowledge,” “spirit,” and “breath.”

Thus, when Jesus asks you and me to “repent,” He is inviting us to change our mind, our knowledge, our spirit—even the way we breathe. He is asking us to change the way we love, think, serve, spend our time, treat our wives, teach our children, and even care for our bodies.

Nothing is more liberating, more ennobling, or more crucial to our individual progression than is a regular, daily focus on repentance. Repentance is not an event; it is a process. It is the key to happiness and peace of mind. When coupled with faith, repentance opens our access to the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Whether you are diligently moving along the covenant path, have slipped or stepped from the covenant path, or can’t even see the path from where you are now, I plead with you to repent. Experience the strengthening power of daily repentance—of doing and being a little better each day.

When we choose to repent, we choose to change! We allow the Savior to transform us into the best version of ourselves. We choose to grow spiritually and receive joy—the joy of redemption in Him. When we choose to repent, we choose to become more like Jesus Christ!”

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My guess is that you know what’s coming next…

You probably know that I’m going to tell you that it worked.

And the lesson went amazing.

And I was grateful my coordinator asked me to teach. (P.S. I team-taught and my co-teacher, who was another counselor, was amazing!!!)

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I honestly didn’t think it was possible.

I didn’t think I’d ever be able to hear “repent” and feel glad and joyous.

But now when I hear it, I immediately think, “grow, change, mend, heal, joy, become…” rather than, “You need to repent because you did something wrong.”

They teach that repentance is daily.

And it’s not because we make mistakes daily and need to come to peace with our errors.

No. That’s not it.

Daily repentance means we choose to change.

We choose to grow.

We choose to be healed.

We choose to forgive.

We choose to find joy. (Not the same as “be happy.”)

We choose Jesus Christ.

We choose to love ourselves.

Because when we repent, we choose to love ourselves enough to progress.

I know that changing the connotation of “repentance” has made all the difference in my life.

It has changed me.

And now as I repent daily, I rejoice.