Listen on Spotify or Apple (and other platforms)
Leaders of the church and other members encourage you to be still after finishing your prayer.
They recommend you stay kneeling, quietly and reverently listening.
To be honest, I’m not very good at it.
My mind wanders and thinks about all sorts of things.
Like the book I’m reading, or what happened that day, or how I’m excited to go to sleep, or it starts preparing for the next day. (Orrr I just climb into bed and don’t stay kneeling at all. Whoops!)
It’s hard to focus on listening.
It’s hard to stay kneeling and stay present.
But in the rare cases that I do, sometimes I hear something.
Sometimes Heaven sends me a message.
Being an FSY counselor is fulfilling and rewarding in so many ways. Honestly, words can’t describe the feelings of gratitude and appreciation that I feel when thinking about my experiences at FSY.
More specifically, my feelings related to the youth.
They hold a piece of my heart, and I think it will forever be with them.
That aspect of being a counselor is hard.
You meet youth, elect young people, and your heart connects to theirs.
You bond with them.
You laugh with them.
You cry with them.
You love them.
So when it’s time to say goodbye, your heart is full, but it’s also very very sad.
I have to remind myself of what Winnie the Poo once said, “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
Preach, Winnie!
Saying goodbye is definitely hard, but what’s harder are the days after the goodbye. The weeks after the goodbye. The months after goodbye.
The years after goodbye.
Those moments are painful.
Last summer, I had a week off after my three weeks in Kentucky, and I spent it in Cedar City.
That week was HARD.
I actually cried two or three times because of how sad I was.
I MISSED my youth. I missed my kids.
I missed them terribly.
It was quite clear to me that I desperately needed help with my aching heart.
So on Tuesday of that week off, I knelt down in prayer.
I poured my soul out, but mostly I just cried and expressed how much pain I was in and how I needed help.
I specifically remember saying during the prayer, “Father, please, help me. I miss my youth. I miss them so much it hurts. I need thy help.”
After finishing the prayer, I stayed kneeling.
Perhaps it was because I was so sad. Perhaps it was because I was trying to gather myself before climbing into bed. Perhaps I was so emotionally tired that I couldn’t get up physically.
Or, maybe, I had hope I would receive an answer or some type of comfort.
Whatever the reason, I stayed kneeling.
Not long after I finished my prayer, I heard five words in my mind.
Words I’ll never forget.
“I miss my kids too.”
Wow.
Truly, wow.
I’ve thought about that a lot since then, and I think it applies to all of God’s children.
All of them, but individually.
One by one.
It applies to those who have strayed from the covenant path. (Especially because they have/had a covenantal relationship with Heavenly Father, and I can imagine it is so painful for Him when someone breaks their covenants!)
It applies to those who have never known His gospel.
It applies to those on the covenant path that are sometimes too busy to spend time with Him.
It applies to those who are valiantly engaged in the good cause of the Gospel. Even those individuals He desires to spend more time with!
It applies to those who are coming back to Him.
It applies to those who have never really cared for Him but have always known of Him.
It applies to all.
Individually.
One by one.
He misses each child.
When I share this experience that has been easy to recount and consecrate for good, I end with an invitation to spend more time with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I express that they miss YOU. That they want to spend more time with YOU.
Because it’s true.
They do.
Patrick Kearon said, “God is in relentless pursuit of you. He ‘wants all of His children to choose to return to Him,’ and He employs every possible measure to bring you back.”
Although the pain of missing my youth has not gone away (and probably never will!), it is comforting to know that Heavenly Father is very aware of that pain.
That He experiences it too.
That He gets it.
That He employs perfect empathy when He says, “I miss them too.”
Great Post! I do miss you kids too when you are away! I can possibly imagine it feels similar except I know that I will see you soon enough. Thank you for sharing another great story! Love you
💛💛💛💛💛
This post is so heartfelt and beautiful!!! I know the Lord loves us and does indeed miss us… he cares deeply for us, for our happiness, for us to know Him.. thank you for sharing your thoughts so beautifully!! I love this post and YIU!!
I was just thinking about how sometimes I wish I could SHAKE some people I know BY THEIR SHOULDERS, to FORCE them to understand HOW MUCH our Heavenly Father loves and misses us. Loves and misses them.
Because I love them. I miss them. (My fsy companies, trek family, and girls from girls camp)
And our Heavenly Father LOVES and MISSES them INFINITELY times MORE than I do.
I still have some days (they’re starting to be less and less now, which makes me sad 😔) where I think about all the kids I’ve met (especially from fsy, where I’ve gotten the greatest connection with all of them), and my heart ACHES.
I agree with you. You meet these amazing beloved youth for a week, and then you have to say goodbye. The pain is PHYSICAL. And it HURTS.
And part of that pain has to do with how they don’t know their true worth, they don’t know how much they are TRULY and DEEPLY cared for.
As I said, I wish I could SHAKE THEM BY THEIR SHOULDERS 😅 until they truly understand how HUGE their worth is.
Like I said already, these saying of missing them, and the experiences, come and go. But as for today, I was one of those days. Not as bad as the first few days afterwards are, but still sad.
I miss them.
I miss you.
I want to go back already, and am so sad I have to wait a whole year for only a week to re-live similar experiences again.
*side tangent, Kyra, heaven told you how much I was sad (even at the beginning of the week!) to go home on Saturday, because I usually bond so much with the other youth, and the experiences. You said in your prayer for me, and your note to me, of how you felt I was concerned about feeling these same experiences at home. Kyra, that was not even a conscience thought in my head! About how i was scared about leaving it all behind when I left Saturday morning, and so it just goes to show HOW MUCH God know me personally, because He was able to tell me that, through your prayer. I never told you a thing about being scared I was gonna leave it all behind when I left fsy. And yet you knew, because heaven knew, and you were in a place to receive that revelation.
How cool is that?!?
So thanks you again for that prayer, there were SO MANY layers in it, but thank you for the one reminding me that God really does know ME.*
Anyways, I wanted to send you a hug, because I need one, and maybe you do too 😏.
Hugs!! 🫂
Love, like always, Isabella 💕
This is just a curious question, but does it tell you if I “like” the comment?
I just want to know 😂
It is quite fascinating and interesting and I’m sure *not* a coincidence that you picked yesterday of all days to comment on *this* post. I don’t know why yesterday you decided to reread this and then comment on it, but it’s kind of eerie from my perspective.
Hear me out.
Yesterday, I spent 7.5 hours in the car driving home. For about 30-45 minutes of that time, I was emotionally distraught. Normally I like and enjoy my alone time, but it was not particularly fun when I started thinking about people I miss. There’s this one friend that I haven’t talked to since April/May, and I miss her dearly. I miss her so much it hurts. I’ve reached out to her, and she just doesn’t answer.
As I was driving home, this overwhelming sadness was becoming distracting. Tears were getting in the way of seeing the road! Naturally, I said a prayer and asked for help.
I’m not kidding you, a thought crossed my mind that maybe you, Isabella, would comment on *this* post. But I thought that was kind of crazy because there are so many posts and because you already heard me read this one!
But here we are.
When I got the notification while driving, I was shook. I didn’t have time to read it, but I saw that it was a comment on “I Miss Them Too.” I had already stopped crying and was doing better when it happened, but it was still crazy.
I completely understand wanting to physically shake someone by their shoulders. I found an alternative way of doing that at FSY; I said, “you don’t understand” with all the might I could express.
It makes sense that you’re a little sad that the days when you miss everyone are becoming less and less. For me, I am grateful the pain diminishes a little. I cannot live with that intense pain everyday! I just focus on the goodness and the laughter and the connections I had and try to accept that everything will be okay.
In relation to your side tangent, it is cool to hear all of that from your perspective as it was pretty clear to me (even on day one) that that was a concern for you. I could feel it in my bones! It’s kind of funny that it was not a conscious thought in your head when it was so clear to me! Haha! You’re right though, it’s definitely proof Heavenly Father loves and knows you personally!
I feel grateful that you are thanking me again for the prayer because there was an abnormal amount of anxiety and pain related to all of that (specifically your week) because of other things going on in the background (which you have a small idea on because I told all of you).
Hugs are always good, and as stated by what happened yesterday, very needed.
Love and miss you too! Thank you for these comments 🩵
-Kyra 😉
Wow that story is so crazy! The fact that I commented on this post after you thought that maybe I would is so cool! And also because your right! I’ve read it/listened to you read it at LEAST 3 or 4 times now 😉 😂 and never thought about commenting until yesterday night.
And yeah, I agree, I am glad the intense pain goes away, but it’s sad because with it goes the smaller memories of the week, and the memory of it in general fades tiny bits at a time, and so it also make me feel bad that certain memories and the missing of the people and experiences there goes away so much. But it’s probably good thing, because I can move on, but not forget.
Relating to my side tangent again, it’s kinda funny to me too (and pretty cool!) that it was so obvious for you about how I was feeling 😅
Also, to the first thing you said, I don’t see anything that shows me that you liked my comment… so yeahh.
Okay, this next part is a little unrelated, but I was thinking about the thing you said at the end of one of your podcast episodes (which I just so happen to be at the very end of even though I don’t even think I actually listened to the beginning of it) and you were saying how we have the choice to keep connections with friends if we want to. And I was just thinking about how I wish that was really easy to do and I want to hang out with my friends from MIH, but I just don’t know how to because everybody lives so far away from me/I live so far away from everybody else.
And then a thought popped into my head to just ask you this (and don’t worry! it’s okay if you’re not sure), but do you happen to have any ideas or suggestions for ways MIH can/things MIH can do, to hang out together and to see each other, Especially with this new school year coming up and peoples schedules becoming busier?
Anyways, I think that’s all for now. And thanks for sharing the cool experience, it’s awesome knowing I was part of that. 😄
Till my next comment 😉🥲
-💗Isabella 💗
In relation to choosing to keep connections with friends, it is important that BOTH people have a desire to stay in contact and BOTH people are willing to do the work necessary.
I’m not saying people in “Meek in Heart” don’t reciprocate it, but they may not be as willing to put the effort in/do the work. So I guess I would maybe reach out to the girls and ask them who wants to stay in contact? That might sound dumb, but then you’re on the same page. You can explain (or just copy and paste that paragraph) that you want to stay in contact but realize it takes two.
It is really sad when someone wants to maintain a connection/relationship and the other person is not as invested. So maybe find out who is willing to be invested? I don’t know if that’s helpful, but that’s my advice.
In the past, companies have had zoom calls to catch up and to stay in contact. So maybe people would be willing to do that?
I’m glad you followed the prompting to comment! That’s crazy!
Til your next comment (haha)
-Kyra
That totally makes sense! Thanks.
And honestly I think I have to focus on quality not quantity in terms with who I try to meet up with. I also do think I already have a pretty good idea on which people care/would want to do something more than others, so I will try to keep that in mind.
Thanks again 🙂
-Isabella 🫶
OK so, I have a couple things to say today/tonight. 🤪
The first few days and weeks after fsy, whenever I had a thought that I was like “oh I wish I could tell Kyra!” I took a note of them, and so now I’m gonna be sharing you a couple things from those notes today/tonight. One of the things that was cool was the fact that around a month or so before FS why there was a fire side about patriarchal blessings planned for the Sunday after the week that I went to FSY. And I was just thinking about what’s the chance that something from my patriarchal blessing would happen three days before that meeting – because I had totally forgotten about the meeting, even though I knew beforehand that it was happening. Cool right?
Another thing. I had the song “Come come ye saints” stuck in my head all Saturday, the day we got home from fsy, (side tangent, I love that song so much, it helped me feel the spirit, and I especially like knowing the deeper meaning behind it, because I’ve been reading “The Work and The Glory” series, and it’s helped me understand church history more), and not only was it played in sacrament meeting the next morning in church, but we were actually on time for once (okay I’m kinda exposing my family now, *sorry guys*) for me to sing all of the verses! It was just a little bit of a reminder of how a “small silly thing” meant so much to me, and God knew it.
OK here’s one of the things that I think was the most crazy, that gave me extreme chills and I was just like NO WAY. I was journaling the Saturday morning after coming home from FSY, and I flipped the page one page backwards and on that page , was covered in things about recognizing the the promptings of the spirit, and I got chills because I was like “Kyra and other people from FSY, told me at least a third of the things that are written on this page! What is the freaking chance that I would have written all these things down a week (or so) before I heard them all over again, the very next week? like how crazy is that?!?
***CHILLS***
The other thing is, as I was listening to your older Marco Polo‘s, and also in the newest one how you were saying that Friday’s podcast episode is going to be about promptings, I just realize that things like this keep popping up, and I know it’s for an obvious reason.
I know I have not been on top of things as far as listening for, and following through with, promptings, and this in itself is a prompting to get back at it or else I might miss something important. That’s how I’m taking it at least. 🤷♀️😁
But hey I will say (especially closer to the few weeks after FSY ended), I followed through with a ton of promptings -mainly to text people and tell them encouraging stuff- and I got so many responses even after telling them they didn’t have to respond, which was SO REWARDING. I got one person telling me that they cried after they read a scripture that I shared with them, one person told me “Wow, that’s amazing, thank you, I needed that“, another person told me that I wasn’t weird for following through with promptings, and they think I’m a cool person, and another person thought it was amazing that I’m following through with promptings, and also thanked me for following through with the prompting to let them know I was thinking about them. Another person hearted my message (which I really didn’t expect them to respond at all, so that was cool to see’, and another person gave me a compliment back when I complimented them, and another time for one of the same people I already mentioned, I shared another scripture verse with them, and they told me “wow I don’t know how you always know exactly what to say! You’d be a great missionary some day!” (or something to that extent). And wow, when I put it onto words right next to each other, I can see how crazy it is and how cool it is that all these things really happened and that those things in themselves are some of the “stores they give me strength“. 🙂
Anyway that’s all for now, it’s funny because I only said a few things… but I took up a lot of words… Soooo, I’ll definitely be sending more of these were where I’ll tell you about my personal “stories to give me strength“ and other things like that 🙂
Welp! that’s all for now. I’m excited to listen to your podcast tomorrow, and to hear more from you and from your Marco Polo videos. And ya! I’ll keeps sending scriptures and things like that to the group chat and I will talk to you next time! Thanks for being such a supportive person in the gospel. it’s so nice to have you as someone I can really talk to who gets it, and loves sharing the little things and insights and stuff like that as well. Loves! -Isabella 💕💕💕
Isabella!!! I don’t know if I ever saw this comment. It was SO tender tonight. Thank you for reading posting this two years ago! How tender and special!
Love love love!
I love you Kyra! Thanks for being honest and vulnerable, even when it’s hard. I appreciate the strength and support you’ve given me. I hope you can feel loved and supported by those around you 🙂
Sending my own love support and strength your way!!!
💕💕💕Isabella 💕💕💕
Thank you my friend, I appreciate this a lot. I love you too! 🩵
Thinking of you! 💕
I just thought I’d say hi, and I hope you’re doing okay!
And here’s a late happy New Years!
Oh also, this is unrelated, but I have exciting news that I’m pretty sure I’m going to be doing the musical program this year at FSY. I made up my mind randomly this morning, and feel nervous but excited about the idea of doing it! (:
Have a good rest of your day! ☺️💕
Being in the musical program is so fun! I hope you end up doing it!
Hi back! I am doing well … just getting ready to apply to two more graduate schools. Happy New Year to you too! I hope you’re doing good too!
😁❤️❤️❤️
I listened to “Practicing My Dream Job” (a while ago now lol, I’m only now saying anything about it), and I wanted to say that your talk was really good. Oh wow, I’ve forgotten how much I loved/love your stories, especially the really meaningful ones from when you were an FSY counselor. I loved the story you shared about not being able to ‘give up’ on your fsy kid(s), and how that is so applicable to God not being able to give up on us. Wow, I really felt the spirit through that one.
I also really liked the “Small Acts of Devotion”, I thought that was a really fun episode! I liked that there were funny stories, but still a lot of spiritual stuff in there, even though it wasn’t necessarily anything profound, but small and simple spiritual things and stories shared. So basically, if you have the chance, interview more return missionaries for your podcast haha.
Also, I listened to “The First Week of Graduate School” today (which btw somehow, I completely missed when it first came out), and it was a really fun chill listen –like as in it was nothing enthralling, but really casually interesting if that makes sense at all LOL. I LOVE the idea of starting a school class with a prayer–which I try to do a lot being homeschooled!–and I’ve had similar-ish experiences with feeling really weird to start a school thing with a prayer, since we start our monthly devotionals with a prayer. That used to feel really weird but now it feels more normal. I also am in a school scripture club and we start and end that with a prayer, so that’s nice.
(I have no idea why I’m telling you all this, but now you know lol).
Also, the new youth theme and songs for next year already came out, and I’m super excited for it! haha, so that’s great for me. It also made me excited for FSY again… (ignore how it’s like literally in 8 months…), and wow I have no idea how I’m gonna survive being too old to go in a few years *cry face*.
Anyways, that’s all for now. I’ll talk to you later. Oh, and I’m still so excited for you to be in school. I think that’s really awesome. It’s also making me excited to go to college hehee.
Until later, –Isabella
Thank you for sending this message tonight, Isabella. I’m having a hard time and your message is inspired. Thank you for following the prompting. 🫶🏻😘
And technically, you can keep going to FSY … just as a counselor instead. 😉