Flashing Before Your Eyes

Have you ever heard the phrase, “I saw my life flash before my eyes,” and wondered what that might have felt like? Or rather, “I watched as my life changed forever in a moment of time…”

I never thought that would be me. I never thought that I would watch as my life jumped into a dark pit, swallowing me whole. Well, more like tumbled and fell from an 8-10 foot bar. I remember falling. Slow motion falling. Screaming inside my head, “Oh please please let me be okay. Please let me just jump back up and be perfectly fine. Let this be one of those falls where nothing goes wrong. One of those falls you laugh about later…”

Yeah, well it sure wasn’t that. Not even close. It wasn’t a jump up and forget it ever happened kind of fall. Haha, I wish. If only.

I finally hit the ground and immediately assessed the damage. For one second, one moment, I thought I had experienced a miracle. I thought I was okay! But I wasn’t. I picked up my right arm and instantly knew that everything…was not okay.

That was my arm. Cute right? More like the MOST physical pain I have ever experienced. This happened on March 2, 2019, and today is June 28, 2019. Yesterday, I had surgery number 5 on it. Isn’t that crazy? It is to me.

The point is, none of us knows what is going to happen next. None of us wake up and decide that today is the day that our life changes forever. Knowing this, live everyday to its fullest. Breathe in the fresh air. Take a walk. Love on your loved ones. Rekindle a friendship. Take care of yourself. Help others. Find joy in the little things.

I’m not saying to choose to be happy. I’ve lived with depression for more than half of my life, and I know that it is impossible to choose to “be happy.” In fact, I hate those words. But… I do know that anything is possible. I do know that hope exists. I do know that it’s okay to be sad, and it’s okay to have bad days. Without these days…these really, really hard days, we can’t experience happiness, and the good days won’t mean as much to us.

If today was a bad day, please hang on. There are better days ahead. Here I’m saying this…and my arm is completely useless. Just saying, but somedays I read my own words back, and my jaw drops down to floor. I said that?! Come on!!!

I’m not immune to the hard times. In fact, sometimes I think I’m a magnet for them. They are drawn to me like a moth to a flame. However, Jeffrey R. Holland gives me hope when he says, “If for awhile the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been for the best people who have ever lived.”

Each moment brings different challenges, different memory-making opportunities, different ideas and perceptions. Sometimes, these moments, where life stands still, are what makes us who we are. These moments where our lives flash before our eyes…are what shape us, but these moments do not define us. Although I am known as the “broken arm girl,” there is so much more to me. There is so much more to you too.

Hold on to the moments in your life that make you feel happy. Turn the music up and laugh a little. You deserve it. Remember, there are so many moments ahead that have endless potential. Breathtaking moments that make everything worth it. There is a reason for each moment. Hold on to that.

Perhaps your life did “flash before your eyes,” but you are still alive, and that means something. You survived. You made it. Take advantage of this fact. As Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “You can do this.”