Silly Things

December 12, 2021

Sometimes I get worried when I don’t have any inspiration to write something new and exciting. What if I am never inspired ever again?! What if everything I write is bad? What if it’s boring?!

All in all, I think these are silly insecurities and doubts because I always seem to pull through. Inspiration comes, and I can write once more. I’m so grateful for that.

Now December 13, 2021 @ 4:26am

I decided to add the time in there because 4am is kind of a wack time to be writing, but here I am! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I just entered all my pictures and videos from yesterday into my journal (Journey app). I woke up at 3:38am. My body seems to do that to me when I go to bed “early.” Yesterday I went to sleep around 9:30-10pm ish. Therefore, I am awake at 3:40 in the morning. Good times.

Another reason I added the time is because I have claimed (in the past) that 1-3am is the best time to get homework done and be productive. I don’t know why, but my body and mind seem to work best at that time. Although we have missed that mark by a little bit…the same thing applies. Perhaps my best work comes from writing in the wackiest time. Either way, I’m awake right now, so why not write?!

I wrote the first 3 bullet points (and their counterparts) around 10:30am yesterday. I’m going to add one or two right now. Here they are:

1. Amber alert
2. Relief Society Devotional
   1. Neil A. Anderson: “We don’t know everything, but we know enough.”
   2. Dieter F. Uchtdorf: “Never give up. Never surrender. Never allow despair to overcome your spirit.”
   3. This was said in a priesthood blessing to the woman speaking: “To pursue joy and happiness is not being untrue to your loss, but evidence of your faith.”
3. Getting into the class
4. Christmas Concert Devotional for Institute Choir
   1. The Dear Christ Enters In
5. The impact of inviting a friend to the choir concert (December 17)
6. Jazz game on ESPN (December 15)
7. Missing puzzle pieces
8. Making pizza
9. Phone calls
10. Looking for silly things

Now December 17, 2021

As I look back, I think it’s funny that I went on about how 1-3am is the best time to write, added some bullet points, and checked out. That’s solid. Go team Kyra. 😂

I just added one more bullet point to the list right now, but instead of signing off, I think I can pull some thoughts together.

Real quick, but I have no idea why I include little commentary (like that above). I hope it adds personality and makes it more interesting to read rather than becoming annoying and random. Oh well, I guess.

Okay, moving on…we will start with number one.

1. On December 11th, I checked my email and saw a reminder for the relief society program the next day. It was scheduled for 7:30am, so I immediately thought, “That’s way too early for me. No thanks.” I put my phone down and went to sleep.

I tossed and turned a lot that night and had a pounding headache, so when 7:16am rolled around and an Amber alert went off, I woke up. The interesting thing is that my sound for those is turned off, so it didn’t even make noise.

Nonetheless, the vibrations (and me being half-awake) woke me up. I looked at the time and saw that it was 7:16am. I thought about it for a second and decided that it would not hurt to get up, get dressed, and go to the relief society devotional. Although I was 3 minutes late, I barely missed the opening song. It’s amazing how quickly I felt grateful to be there. So although I am not grateful for the circumstances for which an Amber alert is called for, I am grateful this one woke me up.

By the way I just checked, the kiddos from the Amber alert were found the next day and are safe.

2. I still have my church bag from when I turned 8 and was baptized; I brought it with me when I moved out. It currently holds two little journals/note pads that I use to take notes and write down my thoughts during devotionals, institute, while reading the scriptures, and sometimes when I’m at church.

I took notes during the relief society devotional. Above are three quotes I really loved that stood out to me. The bottom one touched my heart: “To pursue joy and happiness is not being untrue to your loss, but evidence of your faith.”

The speaker explained that this phrase was said in a blessing given to her for comfort after her husband died in a plane crash.

Although I have not lost a husband (or ever had one), a close family member, or a really dear friend, the quote stood out to me.

I would consider depression and pain to be a type of “loss.” Loss of identity. Loss of hope. Loss of love. Loss of purpose. Therefore, when she said that it was evidence of one’s faith to pursue joy and happiness despite the pain, it meant something to me. I can still have depression and anxiety and work hard to find joy. Note that I didn’t say “be happy.” I said, “find joy.”

Now December 18, 2021

*Small tangent*

In the summer of 2019, I was fortunate enough to go to efy (a youth program put on through the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints). Efy stands for “especially for youth.”

The theme for that year was “choose joy.” I was really worried about it because I used to get (and sometimes still do) infuriated anytime anyone said, “Be happy.” My immediate thought in response to anyone saying this to me or seeing it hanging up in a classroom was: “Don’t you think I would if I could?! UGH!” Therefore, I was hesitant about the theme “choose joy.” I worried about it before attending efy and tried to prepare myself to allow that message of “be happy” to go over my head and not bother me.

I’m really grateful to say that “be happy” wasn’t the theme. It was “choose joy.” I know I already said that but now I’m making it clear that they are very different. They explained that “joy” stood for goodness, righteousness, faith, hope, love…not happiness. The theme wasn’t an invalidating statement, it was one of encouragement and hope.

*end of tangent*

I hope that from the little tangent above you understand that when I say “find joy,” it a phrase of encouragement, not one that is invalidating.

3. I was fortunate enough to come into college with several credits that I earned from AP tests and dual enrollment. (Thank you mom and dad for paying for dual enrollment and the test fees!) Because of this, I was able to register as a sophomore this semester. Sophomores get to enroll 2 days before freshman, increasing the chances of getting into the classes you want to.

On the morning of November 15, I woke up around 7:30am to prepare to register at 8am. As soon as I could (it ended up being 8:03am), I sent in my schedule to enroll. I was disheartened to see that I was waitlisted on TWO of my classes.

I text my ACE (Assistant Coaches for Excellence & Success; ACES serve as personal peer-mentors to each first-year student at SUU.) and asked her if I should stay on the waitlist or register for something else. She told me to be patient and stay on the waitlist.

That very night, I got an email that I got into one of the two classes. I ran to get my computer and enrolled in the class.

I didn’t have that same luck for the other class. In fact, I asked my roommate when I should register for a different class and remove myself from the waitlist. She suggested I wait until after Thanksgiving and then get a different class and drop the waitlist.

I followed her advice, but I decided to still stay on the waitlist. Just in case.

On December 7th, I got an email saying I got into the class I wanted to get into. I was actually shocked and so excited. I honestly thought that there was no hope in getting in, so it was a huge surprise when I read the email.

I’ve pondered over this a little bit. Why couldn’t I have just gotten in both of them in the first place? Why have me wait?

Now December 22, 2021 (I guess I had to think about this)

It seems to me that when we don’t get something right away and have to be patient for it to happen, when we have to embrace faith and hope everything works out, we are infinitely more grateful for this thing when we receive it.

I think about couples who struggle with infertility. Can you imagine how grateful they feel when they finally get pregnant? Don’t you think it means a little bit more to them than if they got pregnant first try?

Although it’s not the same, I think the concept applies to lots of things. Getting into classes we want is one of them.

Therefore, if the class gets hard and frustrating, I hope I can remember that it wasn’t easy getting into the class and can persevere and enjoy it.

4. December 12th was a long day for me. I woke up early and went to the relief society devotional and then had my institute choir concert later that day.

Sister T asked us to show up at 4:30pm to prepare for the concert that evening at 6pm. I met a girl I had never talked to before, and I had a blast chatting with her while they tried to get everyone up on the stage (it was held at a church, so we were sitting behind the podium). There were so many of us it was difficult to sit all of us up there. In fact, a group of girls had to sit on the front row and walk up to the stairs leading to where we were and turn to face the audience. Good times.

I have come to believe and continue to learn again and again that music is magic. It surpasses walls we build around our hearts and can pass through the filters we put in our minds. Music can facilitate the spirit, and there’s nothing quite as powerful as the feelings it brings and invokes.

Our theme was: The Dear Christ Enters In. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this theme. I still don’t understand how we “grow our relationship” with Christ since we don’t get to talk to him in person and feel his presence. On rare occasions, I know his presence can be clearly felt, but it’s simply not the same as having him in person.

That’s one of the things I struggle with, so I try to live by His teachings and hope that I will make progress on the path as well as build a relationship with him. I’ll let you know how it goes, but I still struggle to understand how we can know him personally. Perhaps someday I will understand. Perhaps someday we will all understand…

Anyway, I wasn’t sure about the theme because there have been many times when I knew he was “knocking on the door” and had no idea how to let him in. To add to this, I think “letting him in” looks different for each of us.

Our very last song was an arrangement of O Little Town of Bethlehem. A little bit past the halfway mark of the song, we sing the words: “The dear Christ enters in.” I cannot express to you what happened when we sang those words. It was as if a burst of memories of him coming through the door and embracing me suddenly took over my thoughts and all I could feel was warmth and love. Moments like these don’t happen often, especially when you have depression, and even less when Christ doesn’t always seem like a tangible person to you. (I’m not saying I don’t think he’s real. I just don’t always feel his presence in my life.)

I had to share this moment, and I hope I never forget it. In addition to this moment, I can think of one other time that I KNEW FOR A FACT that He Was There and that he loved me.

Two times in my whole life have I had moments that will forever remind me that he is there and that he loves me. (I’ve had lots of other extremely spiritual experiences and feelings of love and warmth, but they don’t include the savior.)

5. In order for there to be a smooth transition, I just moved this bullet point from number seven to number five (I always have to be thinking of how to make it sound the most fluid 😂).

On the 17th of December, a friend text me saying that she finished her final for a class we have together. I expressed how happy and proud I was of her, and we got to talking a little bit. She then told me that she had an essay and a final that she needed to write and turn in before 11:59pm that night. It was past 7pm.

(I’m going to toot my own horn real quick…) I’m really grateful to say that I have a lot of experience writing essays and have a knack for analyzing topics and making it sound smart. Because of this, I knew I could help her.

She was panicking immensely and asked if I could help her get started. We worked together and wrote the first essay, and then I helped her revise her reflections for her final.

Towards the end of our conversation (it was all through text because I was watching the Jazz game at my grandparents’ house), she expressed to me that she had been meaning to ask me what ward I went to, when my church was, and that she wanted to go but didn’t want to go alone.

I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes. This friend of mine is a member but hasn’t been active for a long time, so I was so shocked to see that she had been thinking about going back to church.

I said, “May I ask why you decided to give [church] another try?”

She expressed that she just started thinking about life and going back to church came to mind. I was feeling really brave so I asked, “Does it have anything to do with me inviting you to the choir concert?”

She said that it did a little bit because it got her thinking.

Although she wasn’t able to come to the choir concert, inviting her made an impact. I still can’t believe it but am so grateful I chose to send the message inviting her to come. I didn’t want to overstep a boundary or make her feel uncomfortable by inviting her to a church function, but I kept thinking about her, so I did!

Hey buddy, if you’re reading this, know that I’m really grateful you said I could share this story. Thank you for contacting me. I hope we can go to church together next year.

6. On December 15th, the Utah Jazz streamed on ESPN. It’s fairly rare that they are broadcasted on ESPN, but I’m so grateful they were on December 15th.

You see, I watch the Jazz game at my grandparents’ house, and the Directv receiver was broken. Someone was coming the next day to fix it. Both my grandma and I (she is a religious Jazz fan like me) were sad because that meant we were probably going to miss the game that night.

I don’t know how my grandma found out they were playing on ESPN (she probably checked), but when she told me this, I grew so excited!

They have a roku in the living room, so we were able to download the ESPN app, login in Directv that gave us access to ESPN+, and watch the game.

To you, the Jazz playing on ESPN might seem like a very silly thing. To me, it was a tender mercy and blessing from above.

7. I enjoy putting puzzles together, but I especially enjoy it when I am there start to finish.

Everyone has a different way of putting a puzzle together, but the way my grandparents and I do it is by dumping all the pieces out, finding all the straight edge and corner pieces, and sorting all the pieces by color/pattern. After sorting all of the pieces, the puzzle board is blank and ready for us to begin piecing together the edge.

The last few days, we’ve finished two puzzles and made good progress on the third. While working on the second one, we didn’t do such a great job on finding all the straight edge pieces. In fact, we were missing about 5 pieces.

I sat there for quite some time, scouring through the sorted colors in hopes of finding a straight edge piece. Now I am telling you right now, I did not find any until I said a prayer. It’s a silly thing, I know, but there’s no harm in praying for some guidance and help. In my opinion, it shows Heavenly Father that you are always keeping him in your thoughts and in your heart…when you think to pray to him, even for silly things.

We eventually found all the pieces, but it didn’t happen spontaneously and immediately. Once again, I felt more appreciative and grateful when I found them after looking for some time than if I had found them right away.

The second time this happened, we were working on the third puzzle’s edge. This time, we were missing two edges. The idea to say a prayer came faster to me, so I didn’t waste any time and instantly sent one up to heaven.

This experience was different than the first time because I found the puzzle piece I was looking for immediately after praying for help. The second one we were looking for also practically jumped off the tray.

Finding puzzle pieces is silly. It’s a silly thing. Even still, Heavenly Father cares about silly things because they matter to us.

8. This last thing is really random, but I thought I’d share anyway.

I was given a pizza dough recipe two years (or so) ago. I dislike cooking with a passion, so I didn’t know if I’d ever actually make it. However, when I moved away to college and remembered that I had this recipe saved somewhere, I was determined to try it.

I’ve now made it 7 times and have the recipe memorized.

It’s a silly thing, but I’m grateful I was able to find this recipe and figure out how to make it. I’m grateful I haven’t burned the house down (yet).

Now December 30, 2021

9. I was in the car for over eight hours yesterday, and a few times during the drive, I got very very tired. I found myself running over the rumble strips (also known as sleeper lines or alert strips) on the side of the road and immediately opened my eyes, partly out of fear. I was so irritated that I was having such a hard time staying awake.

I used Siri and text 2-3 people to please call me if they weren’t busy because I was on the road and very tired.

No one called me right away. (They did eventually.) However, I did receive a call about 5 mins after texting for support. To my surprise, it was a phone call from the doctor’s office, reminding me of my appointment. It only lasted 2 minutes, but when the call ended, I giggled that of all the people to call me, it was a young woman doing her job and reminding me about my appointment. It woke me right up.

I personally believe that the assistant calling me reminding me about my appointment was a silly thing, but it’s very possible it saved my life. I guess we will never know, but I will be forever grateful.

10. I’ve found myself many times looking for silly things to put into this blog post. It’s changed my perspective and made me happy and grateful for each little thing that I’ve experienced to give me proof and evidence that He cares. It’s been such a beautiful thing, honestly. I’m grateful for this post and for the inspiration to write about silly things.

*End of Bullet Point List

There have been a few experiences that I’ve left out, but I want you to know that Heavenly Father cares about our silly things. Don’t be afraid to pray to Him about your silly things, and in time, you will find proof, as I have, that He cares.

P.S. LAST POST FOR 2021!!!