The Big Picture

It’s okay, you can say it….I’ve been slacking. Eeek! I started this post over a week ago, and I haven’t put in the work to finish it. Whoops!

The week of July 26th, I was only scheduled one day for the week (for work). I felt super discouraged as I looked at my schedule. I had always been scheduled at least twice a week, and even that was my first week working. Since then, I had been scheduled 3-4 times a week. Sooo…to see that I was only scheduled one time that week made me really sad. Immediately I began worrying that the owner had looked at my name in disgust, puked a little bit in her mouth, and begrudgingly scheduled me for one day.

I was devastated. I had totally screwed up an order the day before (Saturday), and the owner was there and was irritated with me. (It was totally understandable…it’s just that I couldn’t hear through the headset at all.) I felt so embarrassed and irritated that I wasn’t able to hear through the headset.

Anyway, I was placed in an unfortunate situation because my shift lead was out in a different room, so I was the only one with a headset on. The owner came in to help while my coworker was away and began waiting while I took the order, so she could start making the drinks. Knowing full well the order was completely and utterly wrong, I sent the order anyway. It printed out the stickers for the drinks and sent the order to the iPad for making. I felt that I was sitting on nails as I waited for the car to drive up. I wanted to puke a little as I read the order back to them. I knew they would correct the two drinks that they bought, and I desperately wanted to jump out the drive-through window and run away. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with the whole mess. Ugh. Gross, I know.

The owner made the drinks and placed them in the drink carrier to hand out. I read the order back to them (even though my inner thoughts were screaming at me to stop before I totally messed everything up and embarrassed myself). Not surprisingly, both drinks were wrong. One of them simply needed a flavor added to it. I told the owner that I was sorry and the drink needed cherry (or whatever the flavoring was) added to it as well. She took it and added the mix-in. Then I read the next drink to the couple/customers. That one was wrong too. This one needed to be re-made because there was a flavor in there that shouldn’t have been. I told the owner that it needed to be fixed, but she misheard me and added the flavoring needed instead of making a new one without the wrong one and replacing it with the right one. If that makes any sense at all. Sorry for that disgusting sentence. The problem is, I don’t know how to fix the sentence to make it make more sense. So here’s an example: the drink had vanilla in it, and it needed to have orange instead of vanilla. Because it wasn’t clear, the owner added orange. Then, going to the window to apologize and hand the drinks out, the couple corrected us yet again. The drink was not supposed to have vanilla in it. Irritated, the owner went back and made the new drink.

Once the customers left, I wanted to crawl into a big ball and cry. Obviously, the owner was not happy with me. (I’m sorry I keep saying “the owner.” I don’t know what else to call her.)

Normally, you have other coworkers that can hear the order as well, so you can bounce ideas off of one another and make sure you heard everything correctly. I didn’t have that at the time because the owner wasn’t wearing a headset, and the shift lead was no where to be found.

Anyway, I couldn’t help but think that she looked at my name and puked as she scheduled me for one day.

On Monday, (the following day), I was driving my sisters to soccer practice when I got a text from the owner. It read, “Any chance you’re available to run and help out at Mesa? They are slammed.”

Not even thinking, (I’m not kidding) I text back “Absolutely.” In my head, I thought she was asking me if I was available if they needed help sometime during the week. So, without thinking, I text back yes. After arriving at a red light 10 seconds later, I reread the text. To my dismay, she had meant right now. With uncertainty in my voice, I asked my two sisters what I should do. Amara was supportive and told me to go. I flipped a quick u-turn, and agreed that dad would take them to practice. Ellora started crying. She didn’t want to be late. I felt panicked. I couldn’t drive them 15 minutes out of the way to drive 15 minutes back, change into my work clothes, and drive 17-18 minutes to work. So I did it. I made a u-turn and drove them home. I felt really bad for Ellora, but it all worked out for her. Her coach wasn’t even mad that she 5-6 minutes late.

I rushed as fast as I could, and I made it to the shop. I worked for about an hour and then I finished. Kind of silly to drive 20 minutes, work for an hour, and drive 20 minutes back. The reason I did it was clear though: to get more hours. Just kidding hehe. It was to move forward in my relationship with the owner. We had a lot of catching up to do from the 50 steps we took backwards.

It continued to happen. Monday night. Wednesday night. Thursday morning afternoon. Saturday mid shift. Thursday of that week was O.U.R. rescue day. 100% of the proceeds were going to the organization to help stop child sex-trafficking. So, when I went in to work on Thursday (not being scheduled) I ended up working 7.5 hours! It was a crazy day. Some people waited in line for an hour and a half to get their drinks and food. Normally, we have 3 employees at the shop, but that day, we had 7-8. It. Was. Crazy.

After coming in a few times that week on my days off, (I was only scheduled one day) I could tell something had changed. The next week I had three shifts all at my favorite shop. The week after that I had the same. Last week I had 4 shifts at the shop I love. It has now been 3 weeks since the week I was scheduled only once, and I’ve been very grateful and happy working at the shop that I love. (Sodarush has three different shops).

So, as I got thinking about this experience, it was clear to me that Heavenly Father sees the big picture. Had I been scheduled more often that week, it wouldn’t have meant so much that I came in to help and fill-in where needed. It wouldn’t have given me the opportunity to show the owner that I am a reliable, responsible employee and person.

In a weird way that was definitely not expected, being scheduled one time that week was a huge blessing. One that I am super grateful for as it has brought great happiness in my life being scheduled at my favorite shop each week.

The big picture. The whole story. The beginning from the end. The end from the beginning. He knows it all. He sees it all. He knows what we need. He knows what is best for us. He sees our eternal potential, and He will do anything and everything in His power to get us there.

39 For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man

—Moses 1:39

Although growing and stretching is no fun at all, we will look back and see how and why it was necessary. Will we be grateful? No, probably not. I mean, I never understand why people say, “I’m so grateful for my trials. Trials are blessings in disguise.” My response to that is eww. For whom I have become, I am grateful. For what it took to get there, I am not. There’s a difference. At least for me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know that things happen for a reason. I know that some things are necessary for our progression. I know that our hearts will change. However, knowing all this doesn’t mean that I am suddenly so happy while I’m miserable. It doesn’t mean that I pray and ask for trials. It doesn’t mean I enjoy being sad and hopeless. It doesn’t mean that while I’m suffering I am hopeful it will all work out and make me a better person. Ya. Nope. None of those things. I simply try to survive through the storms. I try to breathe when the air is thin. I try to swim when the waves are constant. I try to keep moving. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I have to stop and kneel. Sometimes I have to cry and sob and hope that I will make it another day. All of these things, all of them, are me “enduring to the end.” So if you are doing the same, or if you are doing better, or if you are sitting on the path crying, you too are enduring to the end. You are doing exactly what you need to be doing. Even if you cry. Even if you want to give up. Even if you doubt everything and choose to keep walking anyway. You are doing enough. You are enough. As Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever.”