The Path of Becoming

I’ve had a really hard time coming up with a title for this one. I know what I want to talk about, but the perfect title has been eluding me. Maybe by the time you’re reading this, I’ve found the ideal title, and it is just above this paragraph. My first title was “You are worth more than your mistakes” but it didn’t stand out or catch my attention. My second title was “imperfect but enough” and that one felt too choppy and didn’t fit. With a few more adjustments, I picked the title up above: “The Path of Becoming.” Honestly, what can I say other than, “oh, the joys of writing!”

Lately, I’ve been prompted to write about being imperfect. We are imperfect: human beings who makes mistakes. Human beings who doesn’t always know what to do. Human beings who are susceptible to addiction, mental illness, anger, rage, violence, physical ailments, and so on. Human beings who simply do not have the complete brain power or capability to understand all things.

We are imperfect because of the Fall of Adam and Eve. In order to progress, we had to leave the presence of God and have a mortal life: a time to be trialed and tested and have the opportunity to be a part of a family. Although the fall made us mortal, it was absolutely necessary for our progression, transformation, and salvation. It was necessary because it unlocked the path of becoming.

Without the fall, we would be stuck. No joy, no sadness, no opposition, nothing. Just a state of being…and to be honest with you, (because I’m all about being real) no joy and no sadness sounds pretty good to me at times. When I’m not feeling suicidal, but I’m severely depressed, I imagine a world where I could just feel n o t h i n g.

I imagine the feeling of nothingness to be so peaceful. However, I realize that we would not have anything to do. There would be absolutely no joy. No happiness. No triumph when overcoming something difficult. No families. No love. No hope. No smiles. No joy when you finally figure something out in math or when your mind clicks because you finally understand a concept. No laughter. No games…and if you know me, not having games would be a dealbreaker. Games are life! Okay back to the post, (hehe) our brains would not grow. We would have nothing to look towards and nothing to progress to. We would be stuck.

This is why we must be imperfect for a time. But sadly, it’s not as easy as it sounds. It’s not easy to accept that we aren’t perfect and don’t have the capability to be perfect quite yet. It’s tough because the culture of the church is always pushing that we need to be perfect. We need to do more. Be more. Make better decisions. Be more dedicated. Be more righteous. Be more kind. Be more Christlike. Be more humble. Be more loving. It’s a lot to live up to, and I don’t think most people understand that the word “perfect” does not mean “perfect” (as in doing everything right) in this case. Instead, perfect means complete. Perfect=whole.

Jeffrey R. Holland: “Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually”

Jeffrey R. Holland dedicated an entire conference talk about perfection. I put some of my favorite quotes down below. My favorite part is bolded. 😊

I believe in His perfection, and I know we are His spiritual sons and daughters with divine potential to become as He is. I also know that, as children of God, we should not demean or vilify ourselves, as if beating up on ourselves is somehow going to make us the person God wants us to become. No! With a willingness to repent and a desire for increased righteousness always in our hearts, I would hope we could pursue personal improvement in a way that doesn’t include getting ulcers or anorexia, feeling depressed or demolishing our self-esteem. That is not what the Lord wants for Primary children or anyone else who honestly sings, “I’m trying to be like Jesus.”

To put this issue in context, may I remind all of us that we live in a fallen world and for now we are a fallen people. We are in the telestial kingdom; that is spelled with a t, not a c. As President Russell M. Nelson has taught, here in mortality perfection is still “pending.”

My brothers and sisters, except for Jesus, there have been no flawless performances on this earthly journey we are pursuing, so while in mortality let’s strive for steady improvement without obsessing over what behavioral scientists call “toxic perfectionism.”

I testify that in this and every hour He is, with nail-scarred hands, extending to us that same grace, holding on to us and encouraging us, refusing to let us go until we are safely home in the embrace of Heavenly Parents. For such a perfect moment, I continue to strive, however clumsily. For such a perfect gift, I continue to give thanks, however inadequately. I do so in the very name of Perfection itself, of Him who has never been clumsy or inadequate but who loves all of us who are, even the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

“I guess I’d always known but never fully considered that being broken is what makes us human. We all have our reasons. Sometimes we’re fractured by the choices we make; sometimes we’re shattered by things we would never have chosen. But our brokenness is also the source of our common humanity, the basis for our shared search for comfort, meaning, and healing. Our shared vulnerability and imperfection nurtures and sustains our capacity for compassion.”

“We have a choice. We can embrace our humanness, which means embracing our broken natures and the compassion that remains our best hope for healing. Or we can deny our brokenness, forswear compassion, and, as a result, deny our own humanity.”

That’s the end of the quote. It’s amazing, isn’t it? The solution to kindness and compassion and forgiveness and healing is to embrace our brokenness. Embrace what makes us who we are.

This next part is from my @make.a.difference.with.Christ Instagram account.

🏀The second slide is a quote from the book Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson. The book is not at all about religion, but it taught me about the atonement of Jesus Christ. Often times those that don’t deserve mercy are the ones that need it the most, and Jesus Christ provides that to us all. Justice and mercy. He gives us both as He loves us so much. With all my heart and mind I WANT to be able to embrace this concept for myself, but I admit I am not quite there. However, as I read this book I realized that I WANT mercy for others. I want people to have a chance at a better life, and the atonement of Jesus Christ gives them that. I want them to know they are loved and cared for. I want them to have a wonderful future in which they can find happiness. In my own life, I don’t know what that looks like yet, but I desire to get there, and I’m working on it everyday. In the book, a very popular quote in it says, “EVERYONE is worth more than their WORST mistake.” It is true. YOU are worth more than any mistake you’ve made.

Your mistakes don’t define you.

As I went about writing this post, I wanted to make it abundantly clear that whatever you feel is holding you back, whatever you feel you carry the weight of, whatever keeps you up at night…none of them define you. None of them! If you have been caught in the snare of pornography or addiction or something else you are not proud of, I want it to be clear that hope is not lost. You are not a bad person. You are loved. You are enough. You are not forgotten.

Today, I had to remind myself these things. I feel I am still telling myself these things, even now as I write this. As I went about my second day of work, I did something really bad. And if you’re as awesome as me, then you might have done it too. I broke the card reader worth $800. You see, in between every customer, we are supposed to wipe it down with this rag soaked in a strong sanitizer. I didn’t wring the rag out, and I drenched the card reader. It broke. It’s broken. I could barely hold back the tears. My pour heart constricted, and I could barely breathe. I told myself I was stupid and so idiotic for not using dang common sense! I was so blindsided by this mistake, that I forgot that breaking this card reader didn’t define me. It didn’t make me a bad person. It didn’t suddenly erase everything I’ve been working for. I am still a broken arm survivor and a depression survivor and an anxiety survivor.

Those things that make you you do not disappear when you make a mistake. So I’m going to say it again: you are loved. You are not forgotten. You are enough. There is hope.

You are worth more than your worst mistake. You are worth more than your worst mistake. You. Are. Worth. More. Than. Your. Worst. Mistake. Say it til you believe it. Say it til you know it. You are worth more than your worst mistake. Commit it to memory, know it by heart.

You can do great things.